“I don’t think they want to hear
about that kind of thing.” That’s how Boris Johnson, the man about to become
the United Kingdom’s prime minister, whether the public likes it or not, responded
when a journalist obliquely invited him to reassure the public that he didn’t
beat up his girlfriend last Friday night.
Occasionally this mendacious sack of
personality disorders yells it like it is. While he evaded the question about
what exactly transpired when police were called to a “domestic disturbance” at
his home, he’s dead right about one part: A lot of people don’t want to hear
about it. Just like they don’t want to hear about the allegation published that same
day that President Trump savagely sexually assaulted advice
columnist E. Jean Carroll in the mid-90s. Just like they don’t want to watch
the video
of British Member of Parliament Mark Field grabbing a female Greenpeace
protester by the throat last Thursday.
Here’s what’s happening: All across the
English-speaking world, men seeking or established in high office, icons of
elitist entitlement shotgun-married to rank populism, are having to answer
questions about just how much violence they have chosen to inflict on the women
around them. And all across the English-speaking world, their supporters are
rallying behind them.
Field’s misdeed was captured on camera in a
ten-second psychodrama about the state of politics today: a young woman with
the temerity to protest at a black-tie dinner slammed against a pillar, grabbed
by the neck, and frogmarched out by a furious man in a smart suit. While Field
has now been suspended, the first reaction from his fellow Conservative members of Parliament to
the display wasn’t how dare he, but how dare she.
How dare she interrupt these important men
and their wives whilst they congratulate themselves over dinner. How dare she
mention the uncomfortable fact that their economic policies are decimating the
climate and threatening billions of lives. Give him a medal, came the call
from his supporters: He was showing “responsibility and leadership.” She was
the one who “could have been dangerous.” Someone might have been put right off their soufflé.
Male violence at the highest levels of
government has been tolerated for a very long time. Unfortunately, women are no
longer quite so willing to keep their mouths shut about it as they once were.
This means that even voters who don’t really care about male politicians
assaulting women know that on some level they should care, which is why so many
double down on frantic excuses. Meanwhile, the accused themselves behave as
though accountability is for the little people.
Both Trump and Johnson have declined even to offer a plausible alternate narrative, to let their voters retain a scrap of deluded self-respect while they look the other way. Donald Trump can no longer even be bothered to spend five minutes coming up with a half-decent lie. His defense on Friday to Carroll’s account in New York is that he never met her—this despite a photo published in the original article showing the two of them together at an NBC party in 1987. His supporters will back him to the hilt, regardless: Nobody is more anxious to win the culture war than those who have already lost the moral argument.
The way these men choose to behave towards women is not incidental to the way they will behave in office. It’s not a side issue, and it’s not a private matter. The way politicians treat women and children informs their attitude towards everything else. Men who bully, grope and harass because they feel entitled to do so will treat the electorate with the same violent contempt. Institutions that cover up and tacitly condone abuse will operate similarly. Sexual violence and abuse are central to our political culture, not least because they create something that men like Trump and Johnson have always relied on: they create complicity, and complicity rallies the troops quicker than loyalty in fickle times like these.
How many of those defending him today
would stake their future on Boris Johnson never having hit a woman? How much
are we willing to bet that Trump has never committed rape? I’m not talking
about whether or not these men will ever face charges or how much they’re
prepared to pay to bury their victims alive. I’m talking about whether or not
we think they actually did it. Anyone prepared to stake their life savings?
I don’t think you’d find many takers for
that bet, of any political persuasion. Most of us know, in our meek and
yearning little hearts, that the men we chosen to lead us - or had forced upon
us- are swollen frat-boys straight from the collective id. Most of us know that
in a just world, Donald Trump would probably be in jail.
But acknowledging that out loud would mean acknowledging an injustice so
enormous we’d have to haul ourselves up and do something about it, and most of
us have been exhausted for at least a decade, so it’s easier to believe the
accused. It is always easier to believe the accused, psychiatrist Judith Herman Lewis argued
in her seminal work Trauma and
Recovery:
In order to escape accountability for his crimes, the perpetrator does everything in his power to promote forgetting ... After every atrocity one can expect to hear the same predictable apologies: it never happened; the victim lies; the victim exaggerates; the victim brought it upon herself; and in any case it is time to forget the past and move on. The more powerful the perpetrator, the greater is his prerogative to name and define reality, and the more completely his arguments prevail.
Let’s be honest with ourselves for a
second, here. Let’s admit that nobody votes for a Trump or a Johnson believing
their candidate to be a sincere and morally upstanding specimen of humanity.
All that is required from these spoiled thugs is all that has ever been
required of them: the absolute bare minimum of plausible deniability, just
enough of a flimsy fig-leaf for browbeaten gatekeepers to feel okay about
letting them off the hook like they were always going to do, whether the
offense is a hilarious totally innocuous—definitely not racist—crack about
Africans or, you know, raping someone in a changing room.
The public doesn’t want to hear about that
sort of thing—not out of some sort of prim concern for privacy, but because it
makes us uncomfortable. It is uncomfortable to have to articulate what we have
always known about these men. And when we insist that it’s a “private matter,”
what we mean is that it doesn’t matter. That it shouldn’t matter.
Here is what we are saying shouldn’t matter. Here’s how E. J.
Carrol
describes her interaction with Trump in the 90s:
He seizes both my arms and pushes me up against the wall a second time, and, as I become aware of how large he is, he holds me against the wall with his shoulder and jams his hand under my coat dress and pulls down my tights…. he opens the overcoat, unzips his pants, and, forcing his fingers around my private area, thrusts his penis halfway—or completely, I’m not certain—inside me. It turns into a colossal struggle.
That is a description of rape, and Carrol knows just what she is
risking by making it part of the public record. Naming your abuser is a
colossal act of defiance, especially when your abuser’s entire personal brand
is about getting away with it. As Carrol herself noted,
His admirers can’t get enough of hearing that he’s rich enough, lusty enough, and powerful enough to be sued by and to pay off every splashy porn star or PlayboyPlaymate who “comes forward,” so I can’t imagine how ecstatic the poor saps will be to hear their favorite Walking Phallus got it on with an old lady in the world’s most prestigious department store.
I admire this woman. She’s easily in my top fifteen people ever
to credibly accuse the president of the United
States of violent sexual assault—so far. But she doesn’t talk like a good victim, does
she? A good victim is meant to be meek and ashamed. A better victim remembers
that in a culture that values men’s comfort above women’s lives, being accused
of rape and assault is worse than being assaulted or raped. The best victims of
all are so silent that the men who hurt them can move on to ever-more-lucrative
positions of political prominence, entirely
unbothered by the frantic sirens of
conscience.
It’s easier not to look. It’s easier to cling desperately to the
belief that Donald Trump is not a rapist than it is to acknowledge how many of
our fellow citizens would rather elect a rapist than a woman. We have a choice about what sort of world we want to live
in—although it doesn’t always feel that way, in a world where impeachment is
decided by 435 politicians of highly variable moral fiber and the prime
minister is elected by just over a hundred thousand party members. It’s easier
not to have to contemplate the emperor in his horrible nakedness. It’s easier
to imagine that if we look away, we’ll eventually get something out of it:
perhaps a policy or a judicial appointment we value. It’s easy to wave and
cheer and hope that if we let them have what they want they’ll somehow go easy
on us. But that’s not how this works.
These men told us who they were right from the start. What they don’t get to do, however, is tell the rest of us who we are. We still have time to choose what sort of society we want to live in. We can choose, at any point, to stop looking away.